Sep 12, 2019 The fact that it gets away from the usual ‘swiping’ nature of a dating app is the reason it is present on my best dating apps list. If you want to talk to a person, you just have to like the. The cons of online dating apps. Most of the time, you can’t control who you’re attracted to online. When that person turns out to be situated on the other end of the world, you start to doubt whether online dating is really worth the effort to engage in a long distance relationship. May 13, 2016 These are the dating apps you really need to find love. (free, iOS and Android) Tinder. OK, let's get it out of the way first, Tinder is by far the biggest dating app in the world right.

Dating apps sell a wonderful dream: they’ll help you find that elusive true love of your life or at least send decent partners your way until “The One” comes along. Research has shown that one in five singles are addicted to the process and idea of finding a date online. You might think it’s just harmless scrolling, but there’s a good chance you’re stuck in a vicious cycle.

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You use it as an ego booster.
It’s normal for your self-esteem to rise when a really attractive person sends you a message on a dating app. The problem begins when it becomes a huge source of validation for your self-worth. The feeling only lasts for a moment so you’re constantly chasing after it. Before you know it, you’re ghosting on people and airing messages because you don’t actually care about forming a connection. What you want is to feel like someone desires you, so once that’s done, it’s on to the next one.

You check your app(s) obsessively.
If you start hearing notification sounds when your phone actually hasn’t beeped, you probably have a dating app addiction. You spend most of your free time scrolling through hundreds of eligible singles. It’s the first thing you do in the morning, the last at night, and as frequently as you can in between. It’s time to consider stepping away from your device and realize how much power the quest for finding an eligible partner has over you.

You usually never go beyond first dates.
The lure of dating apps is the feeling that there is always someone better out there. Even when you connect with someone and then meet up offline, you’re back on the app the minute you get back home and looking for the next potential date. You’re faced with an endless choice of mates and you feel you’d be cheating yourself if you just stopped looking.

You delete your apps only to download it again.
Swearing off dating apps one week, then reinstalling them the next is a tell-tale sign that you have become addicted to them. You can’t seem to let yourself get a clean break and explore healthier options for meeting people. After all, why go to a bar or some social event when the guys can come to you while you’re wearing pajamas and sitting on your couch?

You have no idea what you’re looking for.
A lot of people just set up a dating profile without having the slightest idea of what they’re hoping to achieve. Are you looking for a hookup, friends, a romantic relationship, a way to improve your dating skills? What is your endgame? If you don’t know what you’re looking for, you’ll end up just accepting whatever you’re given over and over until you become a dating app veteran.

You use several apps at once.
Being on four or more dating apps is not a thing of pride. Maybe stop swiping so much and setting up multiple dates in one week and take note of how overwhelming it all is. I know variety is the spice of life, but dial it back, sis. You’re wasting precious time you could be putting into other activities that are better for your mental wellbeing.

You’re sad more times than you are happy about dating.
Dating can feel like an emotional rollercoaster, but if your adventures in the app world have started making you feel down a lot more than usual. The goal is to give the dating experience an extra boost, not suck the joy out of you.

You rarely hook up with people from the app.
This is a real thing. One in three people who use dating apps never actually go on any dates with someone they met on the platform. So if you can relate to that, the real reason you’re using the app is that you’re hooked on it, not because it’d be nice to find a date.

You know you won’t find a great guy but still won’t stop swiping.
Here comes the moment of honesty: do you really believe you can find a good guy that’s what your time on the dating apps you’re using? If the answer is yes, then, by all means, keep looking. If it’s no, then you’re obviously using it because you feel compelled to. Take a break and direct your attention somewhere else.

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You check the app even when you’re out on a date.
Seriously, at this point, you’re one step away from getting dating app addict tattooed boldly on your forehead. Checking your app while on a date or on your way home indicates that you’re more interested in using the app rather than working to build a connection with your dates.

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In the age of technology (and coronavirus), dating apps are getting a ton of use. In September 2019 (pre-coronavirus), I would have said that meeting someone IRL seems antiquated. In September 2020 (post-coronavirus), I’d say it seems basically impossible. Luckily, there’s a dating app for every segment of the population. No matter your religion, sexuality, gender identity, kink — there’s an app that wants to help you find your match. That includes astrology dating apps.

Rachel Lo tells Refinery29 that she came up with the idea for the astrology dating app Struck during her Saturn return, which seems fitting: That’s a time when people tend to cross major thresholds and enter into new stages of their lives. She had just started getting into astrology when she a conversation with friends about astrological compatibilities when she had her eureka moment: an app that pairs you with your zodiac matches. The idea, she says, struck her.

Lo’s app goes way beyond comparing sun signs. Its algorithm — which Lo says contains over 200 lines of code and was created with the help of astrologer Nadine Jane — compares all of the major aspects in your birth chart chart and then some: It looks into North Node, South Node, and chiron the asteroid.

There’s a minimum threshold in which Struck will consider two people to be compatible, and the app only shows you up to four prospects a day. You’ll see their profile — and their entire birth chart (which, honestly, is almost more intense than getting full access to their public Instagram and Facebook, in terms of getting to know someone). “We want to slow down dating, knowing that people who are into astrology like having deeper conversations and are more open-minded,” Lo explains. “We wanted to make a dating app that would result in better connections.”

When Colin Henderson co-founded Starcrossed, another astrology-based dating app, he saw an opening in an interesting market. “On Bumble, you can say your sun sign and then filter specific zodiac signs saying, ‘I don’t want to match with Libras’ and stuff, but there aren’t really any apps out there that dive deep into why you’re astrologically compatible with a match,” he explains.

With the help of friends, astrologers, and his own research into the zodiac, he wrote a code that created a five-star rating system for your potential matches based on (you guessed it) your astrological compatibility. Each star correlates to how you connect with one another regarding communication, love, emotions, sex, and personality. They’re based on your Mercury, Venus, Moon, Mars, and Rising signs, respectively. You’re shown prospects Tinder-style, with the option to swipe left for no and right for yes. Like Struck, you’ll also be able to see each users’ birth chart.

“That’s a lot of personal information right off the bat. Your birth chart is very personal,” Annabel Gat, astrologer and author of The Astrology of Love & Sex: A Modern Compatibility Guide, tells Refinery29. “I don’t want strangers to know what’s in my full birth chart, Google it, and then make assumptions about me.” (We toldja it was deeper than Instagram.)

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But she also says that of course anyone can try out any kind of dating app that they want. “I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with an astrology dating app, but for me personally, when I meet someone and I’m interested, I don’t want to know what their chart is at all,” Gat says. She’d rather get to know a prospective partner as a person rather than assume things based on their birth chart or zodiac sign. “I want to give them the chance to show me who they are,” she says.

Jessica Lanyadoo, astrologer and author of Astrology for Real Relationships, agrees. “When I first meet someone, I do not look at their birth chart or ask what their sign is. I get to know them as a person instead,” she says. “Once you get to know a person and you start to trust them and start build toward something with them, then turn to astrology because at that point you can be like, oh the reason they’re always late is because of their Mercury in Pisces. Can I tolerate that?”

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When it comes to astrology dating apps, you also don’t know how exactly the code is comparing and contrasting each user’s birth chart. “There are aspects in a chart that might seem very difficult. But what on paper might seem like a ‘bad’ aspect in practice can create a lot of sexual chemistry,” Gat points out.

Plus, different astrologers might interpret compatibility in different ways. One might say you and your partner are a perfect match while another says that there’s doom on the horizon, get out ASAP — so you may be missing out on your actual soulmate if you tie yourself to the stars.

For example, Lanyadoo tells Refinery29 that she uses composite charts over synastry, which is what many astrology apps use. “A composite chart is not just based on your birth date and my birth date; it’s also based on the location that our relationship is taking place, which I think is really essential,” she says. “I do not use the kinds of compatibility charts that could be done by AI.” She also notes that people shouldn’t be idealistic using these apps. Just because the app uses astrology and the stars doesn’t mean it’s a 100% matchmaker. That’s not how life works.

“I really do not believe that compatibility is relevant in finding a partner. I’m finding in my practice that people who don’t have great compatibility [on paper] are drawn to each other and are able to have long lasting relationships,” astrologer Lisa Stardust tells Refinery29. “Love trumps astrology. Astrology is just descriptive of what your chart is in the mood for and wants. It’s all about projection.”

Okay, so maybe that astrology app you just downloaded won’t exactly point you to the perfect match, soul mate, or twin flame that you’ve been searching for — and that’s okay. But at least you’re on an app where you know you’re both interested and appreciate astrology, right?

“If we’re just talking about dating apps as a way to be introduced to new people, an astrology dating app is so smart,” Lanyadoo says. “I like the idea that at least this requires people to have an interest in communicating with each other about astrology. It inclines people to have certain kinds of values and interests.”

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“You’re going to get rid of the people who are like, ew astrology isn’t real, what’s that?” Lo adds. “There’s something really nice there about having a group of people who are open-minded and want to talk about their emotions and want to be more introspective than maybe your average dating app.”

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Henderson agrees. “If you do want to find that certain someone that you want to have a serious connection with, it’s better to find someone on a niche dating app because you know that person is into the same thing you’re into, no matter what it is.” There’s Tastebuds for music lovers, Bark for dog people, and in this case, both Struck and Starcrossed for those intrigued by the stars.

“We want astrology to make life simple, but life isn’t simple, especially when it comes to love,” Lanyadoo says. She’s right — it’s complicated. At the end of the day, dating apps are meant for meeting new people, seeing what’s out there, and ultimately finding someone to have fun with. And if they happen to like astrology? Well, that’s just a plus.